SLOWLY BUT SURELY

Hello!

So it has been a little while, but I’m back, if not only just for now. 😉

I’ve had the nerve block for my chronic pelvic pain (see my previous posts about the root causes of my pain) and it seems to be working. Yay! 😀 I don’t have nearly as much of that awful, heavy, bowling ball in my pelvis, it-hurts-to-walk feeling, which is such a relief. Honestly, that’s been the worst part for me lately. Whenever I’d feel that way (which was 99% of the time or more) my mood would instantly be affected (grumpy, mainly) because it was just so utterly uncomfortable.  Continue reading “SLOWLY BUT SURELY”

TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT

Another day, another medical procedure. Having a chronic illness (or multiple…) is really a full-time job. When I’m not at a doctor’s appointment, I’m either thinking about calling to schedule a new appointment, having a procedure done, calling my insurance company to get them to approve something I desperately need for pain relief, or worrying about any of the above.

As I was laying stomach-down on the procedure table recently, waiting for the long needle to go towards my back, a lot was running through my mind.  Continue reading “TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT”

PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER

Depression has hit me hard lately. It’s always looming over my head like a storm, but it still seems to sink me deeper sometimes. If you don’t know what depression feels like, a good way to describe it is like a mosquito (or some other annoying bug) buzzing in your ear constantly, and you can’t swat it away. It’s unignorable – which apparently is not a real word, but let’s just ignore that little fact.

I haven’t been used to writing so I couldn’t even remember what writing program to open and write with. I figured it out, but that’s not how I want things to be going.

I don’t think I’ve cracked my laptop open in several days, which has been an ongoing trend. This plastic paper weight has just been sitting there, mocking me, and for some reason my cat thought it would be a good idea to sleep on it a couple of times. Because a hard plastic surface is comparable to a fluffy couch… I’ll never understand that! (Photo is reference for how comfy my cat looked while sleeping on my laptop.)

Continue reading “PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER”

I DON’T HAVE A LOW PAIN TOLERANCE… I HAVE LOW TOLERANCE OF CONSTANTLY BEING IN PAIN

Okay, so there’s no way, there’s no scale to judge people’s pain in relation to each other; there isn’t a test that shows just how much pain you’re in. (Not that I’m aware of…)

Comparing your pain levels to someone elses’ is pretty futile, as a result.

I’m writing this because of all the heartache that I’ve experienced as a patient who didn’t know what was wrong. Continue reading “I DON’T HAVE A LOW PAIN TOLERANCE… I HAVE LOW TOLERANCE OF CONSTANTLY BEING IN PAIN”

CANCELING DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS LAST MINUTE, WHILE STILL IN PAIN?

Hi, again.

I’m mad at myself for not getting a post on here yesterday, and did I miss the day before that too? I don’t even know.

I was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow, but I canceled it because the pain I made the appointment for (I assumed it was an ovarian cyst) has gotten better – it’s still there, but not nearly as bad as it has been for the past month. I feel thankful for that.

Now, there are plenty of other reasons I could have gone for (Adenomyosis is flaring up very badly currently…), and I’m not too convinced that the original problem is resolved, but, I just didn’t feel like dealing with what a doctors appointment entails. Not tomorrow. Not soon.

I hate these feelings I get around appointments. Heightened anxiety creeping in my mind as the days count down to the day. As the actual day rolls around, and the clock counts down, ever so quickly might I add, I feel nauseated, I can’t eat, and I experience severe stomach pain. Continue reading “CANCELING DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS LAST MINUTE, WHILE STILL IN PAIN?”