PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER

Depression has hit me hard lately. It’s always looming over my head like a storm, but it still seems to sink me deeper sometimes. If you don’t know what depression feels like, a good way to describe it is like a mosquito (or some other annoying bug) buzzing in your ear constantly, and you can’t swat it away. It’s unignorable – which apparently is not a real word, but let’s just ignore that little fact.

I haven’t been used to writing so I couldn’t even remember what writing program to open and write with. I figured it out, but that’s not how I want things to be going.

I don’t think I’ve cracked my laptop open in several days, which has been an ongoing trend. This plastic paper weight has just been sitting there, mocking me, and for some reason my cat thought it would be a good idea to sleep on it a couple of times. Because a hard plastic surface is comparable to a fluffy couch… I’ll never understand that! (Photo is reference for how comfy my cat looked¬†while sleeping on my laptop.)

Continue reading “PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER”

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I’M BROKE AND ILL, AND ALL I WANNA DO IS WRITE

Being ‘sick’ doesn’t define you, except when it does. When you can’t work because of health issues.

Being poor shapes your life. Yes, I said it. Money is oh-so-powerful. I don’t even mean a lot of money, I just mean a livable wage. A simple life is what I crave.

Writing calls to me for whatever reason. It’s the easiest thing for me to do, whether I’m feeling good or terrible (mostly the latter).

I just wish I could write and little magical fairies would make money appear. How nice would that be? Continue reading “I’M BROKE AND ILL, AND ALL I WANNA DO IS WRITE”

YOU CAN’T BANDAGE MY PAIN

The room cold and sterile, you tell me the options I have for treatment.

One thing I’m scared of, and another, terrified. Continue reading “YOU CAN’T BANDAGE MY PAIN”

THE ANXIETY BEAST

I want to feel fearless, doubtless, confident.

I long to shed this skin of anxiety, working one small step at a time, to ultimately conquer the anxiety beast. Continue reading “THE ANXIETY BEAST”

OCD ISN’T A REAL CONDITION?

I can’t count how many times I’ve broken down from dealing with OCD, depression, and anxiety. How many tears I’ve shed; how many days I’ve felt like a waste of space, too tired to do anything productive; too scared of the future; too depressed to want to live anymore.

Sorry, this concept really grinds my gears. This may just be my snarkiest post yet… Continue reading “OCD ISN’T A REAL CONDITION?”

MY HUSBAND AND I SHARE A TWIN-SIZE BED – A LITTLE INSIGHT INTO BEING BROKE NEWLYWEDS

So I’m not quite sure where to begin this post, so I’ll delve right on into it, writing with a cheap beer in one hand and a saddened heart that longs to write.

We’re broke. Very much so. Our living space is about 12 x 12 feet (the help of staying with family). We don’t have the available funds to upgrade a bed, let alone the space to put one!

In newlywed-ism (is that even a word?), you have this idea in your head that it’s perfect and glamorous; living in your apartment or house, driving a nice car, working on fancy careers, leading your own life, the start to a new happy chapter. The “superficial” life stuff that automatically goes along with love and adulthood. Just climbing on up the ladder of success. Continue reading “MY HUSBAND AND I SHARE A TWIN-SIZE BED – A LITTLE INSIGHT INTO BEING BROKE NEWLYWEDS”