TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT

Another day, another medical procedure. Having a chronic illness (or multiple…) is really a full-time job. When I’m not at a doctor’s appointment, I’m either thinking about calling to schedule a new appointment, having a procedure done, calling my insurance company to get them to approve something I desperately need for pain relief, or worrying about any of the above.

As I was laying stomach-down on the procedure table recently, waiting for the long needle to go towards my back, a lot was running through my mind.  Continue reading “TRYING TO STAY AFLOAT”

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PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER

Depression has hit me hard lately. It’s always looming over my head like a storm, but it still seems to sink me deeper sometimes. If you don’t know what depression feels like, a good way to describe it is like a mosquito (or some other annoying bug) buzzing in your ear constantly, and you can’t swat it away. It’s unignorable – which apparently is not a real word, but let’s just ignore that little fact.

I haven’t been used to writing so I couldn’t even remember what writing program to open and write with. I figured it out, but that’s not how I want things to be going.

I don’t think I’ve cracked my laptop open in several days, which has been an ongoing trend. This plastic paper weight has just been sitting there, mocking me, and for some reason my cat thought it would be a good idea to sleep on it a couple of times. Because a hard plastic surface is comparable to a fluffy couch… I’ll never understand that! (Photo is reference for how comfy my cat looked while sleeping on my laptop.)

Continue reading “PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER”

PAIN RANT

Things have sort of calmed down for the meantime in regards to appointments and tests, but I’m currently in an overwhelmed state of mind.

I’m planning (and hoping) to have a procedure done called a Superior Hypogastric Plexus Block, where a needle will be inserted into my back to “reset” one of my nerves to see if it will reduce or even completely get rid of my chronic pain from Adenomyosis (don’t quote me on that… I do my best.) I’m not sure when I can have it done, or the logistics of it all yet, but it’s possibly the next step in my journey. Possibly. Continue reading “PAIN RANT”

BACK AGAIN

Well, I’ve been MIA here on the blog. The dreaded colonoscopy happened. The recovery has been rough pain-wise (it seemed to have triggered a pain flare-up) and I’ve been so exhausted from it all. The good news is that I received good news (no endometriosis found!), so I feel very thankful for that. 🙂

Other than that, life stresses have distracted me from writing regularly. I can’t believe it’s been a week since I wrote a post. Not how I wanted this week to go, but every time I thought about writing, I wanted to, yet I didn’t. I know that as an aspiring writer, that’s not a very good thing. If I stop, I might not be able to get back on the horse again.

-tmtf

Photo from Pixabay.com, by Pezibear

TESTS GALORE!

A little update on my health, for those interested in the chronic illness part of my blog.

I’ve been going to doctor appointments like a mad woman lately. It started with a new doctor who then referred me to several other doctors, who referred me to other doctors… I’m not complaining because the first doctor took my problems seriously and I actually feel like I’m on a better path to figuring this whole mess out. Continue reading “TESTS GALORE!”

STRENGTH

A poem written about Endometriosis, but it encompasses any chronic illness.

My scars aren’t looking the best as of late,

I look at the stars

and wonder why the universe hates.

But then I think about strength–

and how I’m fighting through this length

of time.

-tmtf

Photo from Pixabay, by Unsplash

15 THINGS I’VE LEARNED THROUGH THE DIAGNOSIS PROCESS OF A CHRONIC ILLNESS

I learned the hard way how to maneuver the medical world when searching so fervently for a real answer to my ever-lasting pain. See my posts about Endometriosis and Adenomyosis.

I made a bunch of mistakes, chose the wrong doctors, asked the wrong questions, didn’t ask enough questions, didn’t know much of anything.

I’m still learning, but I feel a bit more confident in my ability to handle appointments, and I now know when to get up and leave when a doctor is mistreating you – and to know that’s okay, and that it’s not always rude. (I’ve yet to do this, but I wanted to in some instances.) Continue reading “15 THINGS I’VE LEARNED THROUGH THE DIAGNOSIS PROCESS OF A CHRONIC ILLNESS”