Depression has hit me hard lately. It’s always looming over my head like a storm, but it still seems to sink me deeper sometimes. If you don’t know what depression feels like, a good way to describe it is like a mosquito (or some other annoying bug) buzzing in your ear constantly, and you can’t swat it away. It’s unignorable – which apparently is not a real word, but let’s just ignore that little fact.
I haven’t been used to writing so I couldn’t even remember what writing program to open and write with. I figured it out, but that’s not how I want things to be going.
I don’t think I’ve cracked my laptop open in several days, which has been an ongoing trend. This plastic paper weight has just been sitting there, mocking me, and for some reason my cat thought it would be a good idea to sleep on it a couple of times. Because a hard plastic surface is comparable to a fluffy couch… I’ll never understand that! (Photo is reference for how comfy my cat looked while sleeping on my laptop.)
Continue reading “PUTTING IT DOWN ON PAPER”
A couple days ago, as I was trying to get comfortable in my chair, I accidentally moved my coffee mug, and it tipped over – almost in slow motion to mock me – sloshing its contents all over my laptop, which I had the mug placed on for whatever reason. I seem to use it as a table when I’m not actively using it. Why? I have no idea.
Anyway, that’s not an excuse as to why I’ve been a bit absent here. Fortunately my laptop is still holding up for now, it was closed when my coffee spilled but some did manage to make its way under the touchpad.
Continue reading “I SPILLED COFFEE ON MY LAPTOP”
Depression is… empty.
Depression is… lonely.
Depression isn’t lazy.
Depression is… I’m tired.
Depression is… “You’re fired.”
Depression… I wish it was no more.
-tired mind typing fingers
Photo via Pixabay
Things have sort of calmed down for the meantime in regards to appointments and tests, but I’m currently in an overwhelmed state of mind.
I’m planning (and hoping) to have a procedure done called a Superior Hypogastric Plexus Block, where a needle will be inserted into my back to “reset” one of my nerves to see if it will reduce or even completely get rid of my chronic pain from Adenomyosis (don’t quote me on that… I do my best.) I’m not sure when I can have it done, or the logistics of it all yet, but it’s possibly the next step in my journey. Possibly. Continue reading “PAIN RANT”
Maybe life is a work in progress,
Slow to see results, miracles not abundant.
Maybe life is a lot of waiting and wishing,
Wading through the muddy water
Before you reach your dreams.
Maybe life is little moments strung together of joy and sadness, of waiting and then receiving.
Maybe, life is simply a jumbled, beautiful mess.
Photo via Pixabay.com
Well, I’ve been MIA here on the blog. The dreaded colonoscopy happened. The recovery has been rough pain-wise (it seemed to have triggered a pain flare-up) and I’ve been so exhausted from it all. The good news is that I received good news (no endometriosis found!), so I feel very thankful for that. 🙂
Other than that, life stresses have distracted me from writing regularly. I can’t believe it’s been a week since I wrote a post. Not how I wanted this week to go, but every time I thought about writing, I wanted to, yet I didn’t. I know that as an aspiring writer, that’s not a very good thing. If I stop, I might not be able to get back on the horse again.
Photo from Pixabay.com, by Pezibear
The ocean sparkled and glittered, calming waves flowing to and fro.
The sand was cold but nice under our feet, a slight breeze in the evening.
Falling sun in the sky surrounded by pink hues
Where we married, basically just us two.
Tuxedo and lace gown,
Nothing too fancy, imperfectness bonding us together. ❤
Photo from Pixabay.com, by YangSunmo