I find myself feeling hopeful when thinking about the future, yet in a very hopeless way.

Success is like a pipe dream, somebody else’s dream.

I can’t help but feel like I’m kicking my legs in strong currents of water before learning how to swim.

I’m drowning in tears, crying in bed, sleeping even in my dreams, watching the world move as I stay still. Always constantly, still.

I’m stuck in this place in my head, in this place of dread, in pain, and so lost.

Envy plagues me as others grow in success, and I feel left behind in their tracks, nobody looking back to ask me how I am. How I really am.

Hope is somewhere, but not here. Not today.


Photo from Pixabay.com, by Tama66


Author: tiredmindtypingfingers

Writing about writing and chronic illness, and trying to make something out of it.

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