So, my flare-up has gotten a bit better, but I still haven’t managed to post in a few days. I’ve been working on posts, they’ve just been taking extra long and haven’t managed to get onto the blog. Maybe because I’ve been waiting until midnight to start writing them… Yeah. Good time management.

I so want to be done my novel! I would feel great to have it done, and out there, and just DONE. I never realized the turmoil of emotions that go with writing a novel over the course of several years. One moment I hate it so much, the other I love it – well, maybe not “love” – rather, feeling connected to it, that maybe it seems like a “real story”, and/or proud that I wrote something so long. Right now I hate it again. My novel is just weighing on me!

The following was taken from another post I started and haven’t published yet, because I feel lazy right now and thought it might fit better here anyway. 🙂


I don’t know when I can actually publish my novel… After six months, I thought I was pretty much done. Nope! Writing a novel doesn’t really work that way. And definitely not for me. How I wish I could write in my sleep… I can’t achieve restful sleep anyway, so I might get a ton of work done!


My novel is a romantic fiction story about a woman who longs to be an author. I decided to go with that “different” approach by weaving the timeline, so it’s not written in a linear fashion. This choice has made writing it extremely complicated as I’m constantly needing to check if events and details are in the correct order (because I know my whole story’s “world”, it’s tough to know if I’ve already mentioned it or not… the “find” option in Word has been a real life-saver!), and then figuring out which chapters go where… Ugh, don’t get me started! If you plan to write a non-linear story, be prepared for frustration. I’d say if you plan to write, be prepared for frustration. Backspacing becomes your best friend.


The downsides, I’ve learned, of working so intermittently on a project, is each time I re-open it, there’s so much catching up to do. I’m not always in the right mindset to fully get into the world of my story.

Then again, I’ve heard of some people being able to complete a FULL NOVEL in super human speed like in as little as a few months! Unbelievable, really! So jealous!

…That makes me think of the even faster, intense novel writing contest, National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) where you attempt to write a FULL novel during the month of November… I failed that 2 or 3 times. Ha. I started strong the first day or two (tops) then the overwhelming sense of reaching that word count level every day simply broke my spirit.

I believe it was the following spring when I considered trying it on my own terms, and two years later, here I am, with major writer’s block and an almost finished novel that I kind of hate. It’s a funny conundrum to hate something that has taken so much time and effort. Perhaps that’s why I hate it; I wish it was better. I wish I was better.


If you want to start a writing project, I would very much recommend starting out slowly, maybe with a short story, collection of poetry, or blog posts. The shorter the project the better because then you can explore different genres/styles, really get a grasp at the whole writing thing, and see how it suits you.

I’d encourage you to open your project and work on it at least once a day if possible, or at the very least, 3-4 times a week. (Just from someone who’s still struggling with finishing their novel, you can certainly take that advice with either a grain of salt or with much caution!)

If you notice a craving for writing, take advantage of that. It helps heaps. The natural flow is so much better than having to stop and think of what to say.

If you just want to reach for the stars right off, then go straight for the novel, but practice being patient if the calendar begins to flip by. I know it’s a slow process for most people; when you add in health issues, it can sort of feel like you’ve transformed into a turtle who’s stuck walking through a maze laced with glue. Or some other metaphor that’s actually good…


I plan to self-publish my novel, hating it or not, because why not? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t truly “hate” my novel, it kind of feels nice to have written something so long. I think I hate it because I’m tired of it’s stupidness every time I open the darn thing to try to finish it… I’m just done and over it at this point. It feels kind of embarrassing to not be done it already, too. I know I’m not just sitting on my novel, I know the reasons why it’s a work in progress.

I chose Amazon and their self-publishing platform, Createspace, because it’s a popular platform to use, seems simple enough, and since Amazon is so big, it can provide a large audience, thus possible readers (wishful thinking, right?) Since so many people self-publish on there, maybe it’s not so good of an idea? I really don’t know. I actually haven’t looked into the other options very much. As long as it’s free, reliable, and easy to navigate, I don’t mind trying other platforms.

Selling copies would be amazing! Feedback from readers would be so cool. Honestly it would be hard to receive negative reviews, but in my opinion, negative reviews might be better than nothing. Constructive criticism and all.

Have you written a novel and/or self-published anything before?


Photo from Pixabay.com, by Unsplash



Author: tiredmindtypingfingers

Writing about writing and chronic illness, and trying to make something out of it.

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